We’ve had something like 13 or 14 snow days. And if you made it through my last really long post you know that my girls lost 2+ hours of instruction every day last week to either a bomb threat or a delayed opening.
Here’s the kicker: for the first time since my children have been going to school (pre-K for T1 10 years ago) our county decided that we should start school after Labor Day. We used to get special permission to go against the region’s amusement park laws because when bad weather hits we have rural parts of our county that just don’t get dug out well enough to ensure the safe transport of students. The county made a big deal about not extending our school year much past our end of school date in the second week of June–they got rid of the last week of school being nothing but half days and made them full days of instruction. Not that any instruction really goes on during those last days but still, they count!
If we had gone back to school at our usual date and time in August that would have been 9 of these 13 snow days. We’d still be in the positive. In the past it served us well when other nearby Labor Day counties were having to extend their school days and take away teacher work-days.
And now this. One of the worst and longest winters we’ve had in a while. And I don’t think we’re done. I’ve had as many snow days on my mid-March birthday as I’ve had snow on Thanksgiving (which interestingly is more times than I’ve had white Christmases). And let’s not forget that last winter we had a snow day the 25th of March. I know this because that was the last date the Chief used the local cancellation website on his Kindle when he called up the page a few weeks ago.
I hope the county realizes the errors of its ways and reconsiders the 2014-2015 calendar.
Snow days just aren’t as fun without the Chief. But we did go to IHOP today for National Pancake Day. Glad I rode my exercise bike for 6.2 miles.
I feel like I could be a walking poster child for Cymbalta or Abilify … you know, the one where the voice over asks, “Who does Depression hurt?” Everyone. “Where does Depression hurt?” Everywhere.
It just wasn’t a good week. As I mentioned in my last post, the Chief was having his bout of “PMS” and things got a little snippy between us. He had to also get up at 3:30 AM to drive himself to the airport. Not a good night of sleep to begin with and then I couldn’t go back to sleep till almost 7 AM.
All day I was kind of “blah”. But the weather was gorgeous! We’re talking 70 degrees! So the girls and I walked the dogs. But by 5 o’clock I was feeling anxious and my skin was “itching.” For the first time I actually thought going for a run would be a good idea. So run I did.
That’s when I noticed the achy feeling. I began to think about it. The only time I feel like this during E.o.t.T. is either when I am 1., running a low-grade fever, or 2., I am not 100% my emotional best. I can pinpoint times in the past where my weight training was not its best or the runs just hurt and stank.
It felt odd that running hurt that night. After all, that Friday I ran for the first time in a month and I actually had a decent time! But hurt it did and I had no other indication of a fever. Trust me, I know when one is coming on even if the doctors look at me like I’m nuts when the thermometer just says 98.9.
I’m trying not to let this, this whatever it is, hurt the girls. I just don’t have the luxury of checking out when the Chief is gone. The run did help and I pulled it together for the night.
But I noticed I posted one of my “VagueBooking” status updates:
“An old sack tied over your head by a criminal is not a very fashion-forward accessory.” Nancy Drew in The Spider Sapphire Mystery — feeling meh.
I post these wonderful word of wisdom from the renowned girl detective any time I want to say something snarky but cannot call people out. And yes, I wanted to say something snarky but it wasn’t about the Chief and our snippiness. I’d probably just post that–he’s not in FB.
Monday was an achy workout but I powered through. My trainer noticed I was not performing but he’s a good guy and I got through it. The elementary school called me in desperation to sub half-day (I wasn’t giving up training) and I went in even though I really don’t like subbing the first week the Chief is gone. Some obnoxious 4th graders and a 50 minute bus delay that I found out later was due to a bomb threat at my children’s school. But I survived and I did perk up a bit. Being busy does help.
Tuesday I woke up still down and still “meh”. I found this positive quote and reposted it to remind myself that I can and will survive the day. “I need to remind myself of this because it is one of those days, gonna be one of those weeks.”
Once again I rallied for evening activities. I always do. But it is draining and usually I just can’t wait to send the girls to bed to “decompress”. Being around so many people, in charge of so many girls, it can be a lot… too much some times. Oh, and another bomb threat.
Wednesday I just posted “Roller Coaster Day 2.” The girls were going at it. Even they respond so negatively to the Chief leaving and the older one’s hormones. The younger one is getting worse and they just pick and pick and pick at each other. It is not a pleasant sound to wake up to. My good friend posted the following to her husband’s FB page. See my comment below.
“As I have just yelled “Knock it off!” “Don’t do half-***ed jobs!” and “SHUT UP!” I think it is safe to say we are definitely in the red at the moment. And yes, this is another side-effect of these bomb threats.”
No training because we had a 2 hour delay for snow but I did bike my 6.2 miles in 23 minutes. I subbed for the girls’ kindergarten teacher. Nice to get paid for a full day.
I just wasn’t looking forward to anything. I know that’s a sign of depression. Losing interest in your regular activities, things that used to bring you joy. Thursday we were supposed to be celebrating one of the ladies’ birthdays. There are five of us and we celebrate each one with a lunch out. I didn’t want to go. The feeling started pretty much the week before, even before the Chief left. I just didn’t want to go, to be around anyone. And that’s the strange thing because during all of this I was feeling so strangely isolated.
Isolated because I just didn’t have anyone to vent to. I’m limited in what and when I can vent with the Chief (even when home). It had been a month since my last therapy session and for various reasons I hadn’t been able to make my group session–and I was going to miss it for this luncheon.
My Thursday FB status: “What’s on my mind? ARRRRGGHHHA!”
I went to training… cut out activities to make sure I could get in my run. Went to therapy and addressed this … this whatever it is that seems to be happening cyclically and hormonally related. Got stuck in highway traffic and finally met up with the ladies (plus 1 hubby) to sit miserably through lunch and constantly check my phone for the time. I know of only two who figured out I did not want to be there. I certainly hope the birthday girl didn’t notice. When asked the next day about it I just said, “I really didn’t want to be there. And if you guys ask me what I want to do for my birthday next month, I’ll just say nothing. I don’t want to go out. I just don’t. I’m not even sure I can get excited about our scrapbooking weekend. Maybe next week I’ll feel better but I don’t today.”
Bomb threats 3 & 4 happened on Thursday and Friday. And yes they have one suspect now in custody.
By Saturday I did start to see and feel some improvement in my mood and my motivation. Although the lethargy seemed to have kicked in late in the day and nap could not be resisted. Started to cheer myself up by booking our tickets for our summer trip and being on the same page with the Chief about it.
Sunday, a week later, things did start to look up. Maybe T1′s hormones aren’t so bad. Maybe we’ve all just adjusted. And today, after 65 degree weather yesterday we have probably 4-6 inches of snow. Hey, one less day for a bomb threat. Going to look at more pictures and websites for our summer trip to pretend I’m not so cold.
It is a great thing that it is only cyclical and that the rest of my month, weeks, are great, but it is such a draining experience and there are underlying issues and complaints to be dealt with. One day at a time. One crisis at a time. One big event at a time.
Sorry for the long post…
The girls were being a bit obnoxious. Loud. Goofy. Interrupting the game in a major way.
The Chief was not having any of it. In fact if it had continued he would have called the game. After one grumpy bark, T1 exchanged a look with me.
Smiling, I started signing to her under the table. Apparently not as far under the table as I thought. While she struggled with the letters, the Chief blurts out, “PMS.”
My only response was, “Well, if the shoe fits.”
Yesterday, a day after the Chief left, T1 asked, “Mom, when you were signing PMS, did you mean me or Dad?”
T2 then chimes in, “Yeah, he was grumpy. We were just having fun.”
“You know he gets into his mode before he leaves. You guys were being a bit rowdy.”
T1: So it’s kind of like ‘Pre-Maritime Stressing.’
I told the Chief about this revelation and his defense is “I was just trying to enjoy the game and they weren’t letting me with all their acting up.”
No comment. “Just thought I’d warn you before I posted it for the world to see.”
P.S. In a funny twist it turns out T1 was PMSing. HAHA! Now I know what’s wrong with me!