Archive for April, 2014


Father-Daughter Dances of the Past

April 28, 2014

This is our 8th Father-Daughter dance (since T1 was in 1s grade). I believe the Chief has only been home for 4 of them. As I posted pictures of my daughters and my BILs from this past weekend I realized just how special are my BILs and how blessed are my daughters.

2007 my father took T1. At the time my parents were “threatening” to move to the beach so I thought I should ask my father to be her escort just in case. They haven’t moved and in fact have sold their condo.

2008 my FIL took T2 and the Chief escorted T1. The Chief was actually at the office doing his EODP and one of the stipulations for the abrupt schedule change was that they would fly him home for the weekend so he could take his daughter to the dance. Red-eye home Saturday morning with a return flight Sunday afternoon.

2009 the Chief’s brother took T1 and the Chief escorted T2. This is the one and only year I made their dresses … don’t get excited. They were those ruffled dresses that only needed one seam and are worn like a tube top … I added straps and pretty bows. This was the last year for corsages.

2010 my FIL took T1 and my father escorted T2. This was a Sock-Hop so I thought the grandfathers would dress casually. Nope. They both wore suits while the young dads came dressed as the Fonz. I got to witness the dance because the organizer had a small troop and was desperate for help so my MIL and I served drinks all night. We found coordinating bracelet “corsages” at the new Charming Charlies.

2011 my sister’s new husband escorted T2 and the Chief was home to take T1. This was the year of the dress drama. We found a prom dress in size 2 at the Good Will … it fit T2 and not T1. Needless to say this was the beginning of having listen to T1 pitch a fit if I didn’t agree with her expensive tastes in dresses. It was cold and rainy outside so we had to take pictures inside this year.
*The Chief’s brother was on stand-by just in case the Chief couldn’t make it home. I had asked my own brother to take one of the girls and he waited until about a week before the dance to tell me “no” which is why my sister’s husband stepped in.

2012 my father escorted T1 again while my FIL took T2 again. T1 wanted a “little black dress.” This gave the grandfathers heart failure to see their 12-year-old granddaughter looking so mature.

2013 it was T2’s turn to have Chief be her escort and my father escorted T1 again.

So my oldest scout in the troop decided she wanted to host the Father-Daughter Dance this year. She asked my co-leader to help and it has been quite an experience… I’ll post tomorrow about the recap.

2014 The Chief’s brother took T1 again and my sister’s husband took T2 … guess I didn’t realize we should have switched that up. Oops. Well now I have a list to easily look back on for future dances. All the grandparents came for an early dinner at our traditional place and BIL’s girlfriend came and actually went to the dance with ME and helped run the event. It’s hard to believe there will only be 4 more of these for T1.

The bottom line is how truly blessed the girls are to have such loving male figures in their lives when the Chief can’t be home. They’ve never “shared” an escort either. T1 has her first school formal coming up and I know things are going to change but these Father-Daughter Dances will always be special family experiences. I know I’m blessed to have wonderful brothers-in-law and if my Texas rebel BIL were only closer I know he would have stepped in too.


Spring Break

April 23, 2014

oh no! Where did the month of April go?

I wish I could say it has been idyllic but it hasn’t.

I was on a roll with the whole conflict and was working my head around the situation and my response to it and then WHAM! It just got real. Everything with that situation got put on the back burner. It wasn’t a priority as long as my daughter was in a good place about herself and she understood the gravity of her actions. T1 is a resilient young lady.

To say that I have had to use every tool in my tool box to control a uncontrolable situation would not be an understatement.

I have to credit my experience with WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Program) and the resultant support group that grew out of that 13 week course. Being aware of myself allows me to self-regulate and make decisions. Being out of control can lead to indecision and paralyzing fear. Often, taking a first step, some action, is more than half the battle. Doing nothing is a self-defeating circle of hell.

The stress of these situations has taken a toll on my sleep, my stamina, and my health. I have had a flare up of the PsA and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that my current drug protocol isn’t working. The pain in my knee had me scared the debilitating swelling and joint damage had returned. I have taken it easy and taken anti-inflammatories round the clock and things seem to be settling down without the swelling from last time. I will have to discuss this with my rhuemetologist in May. Knowing it is a chronic and life-long condition always brings the fear that current medications will stop working and new, maybe less effective ones will have to be found.

The girls are so busy–USO Dance, Father-Daughter Dance, soccer, concerts and more concerts … we are ready for the Chief to come home. 3 maybe 4 weeks. We are also almost 60 days out from our special summer plans.

The weather has been absolutely nuts! I have a feeling we’re going to have two weeks of spring and then BAM! Summer.

So that is where April went. I will be happy when Father-Daughter Dance is over (my troop “volunteered” to run it). My most challenging 5k is in a few weeks as long as the knee returns to normal. The Chief will be home before I know it. I’m counting on it.


Ft. Hood

April 5, 2014

Our thoughts and prayers are once again with the men and women and families at Ft. Hood, TX. We are grateful that our Hawaiian ohana were no longer stationed there and report that none of their friends and coworkers were casualties.

A friend who works with troubled teens posted the Buzz Feed article on her FB page: “How Veterans are Diagnosed with PTSD”

The tag line about the gunman “Does it matter if he did (have PTSD)?” is what intrigued me.

I’ve said before, I have PTSD. I’m not a combat vet but I have lived through trauma (and in the last week had my initial trauma slapped in my face over and above the issues we just had with T1 and my friends (Parenting Parts 1, 2, 3)). I know there are times when the rage is barely kept in check but it would take provocation and extreme danger to myself or my children to make me snap. But are all those with PTSD doomed to be violent and murderers?

I appreciate how this article is educational and how it wraps up that very issue.

It’s a grave misconception that veterans with PTSD are typically anything other than “productive members of society,” Schnurr said.

Ft. Hood is a tragedy either way you look at it.

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