Posts Tagged ‘separation’

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Repeat & Add Craziness!

July 28, 2017

Does this year really need to repeat everything about last year?

One “perfect for you” job that I didn’t get. Adopt a dog on June 11. Second “perfect for you” job that I didn’t get. Now just waiting for that third job. Stinks. But I refuse to sink. I am trusting God again.

If I had gotten the first job this year, I’d be working full-time, 12-months a year. That just wouldn’t work right now. Two days ago we found out T1 has mild to moderate hearing loss of all the middle ranges in both ears.

Normal hearing is between -10 to 20 dB. T1 hears low sounds and high sounds in those ranges. Mild hearing deficit is between 20 to 40 dB. Moderate hearing deficit is between 40 to 70 dB. All of the middle sounds for T1 fell between 40 and 70 dB.

This is a “sound banana.” (Found on Pinterest, source unknown.)

forbanacousticsA

The middle sounds are between 500 and 3,000 Hz.

During the word tests, if they turned up the volume she could hear about 88% in one ear and 92% in the other.

Of course I asked if this was from earwax (a chronic problem for her)…nope, no wax to speak of. She hasn’t had an ear infection since 2012 that we know of and currently no fluid behind the ear drums. I asked if this was from earbuds and always wearing them… nope, no evidence of sound trauma from the other tests they performed. Looks like a nerve deficit.

To say that I was stunned is putting it mildly. T1 handled it great–she is relieved to know the hearing loss is real. Maybe her sister will stop picking on her and calling her deaf!

In short I contacted every family member I could, but I was desperate to hear from the Chief. I eventually called the ship on the satellite phone. Something I don’t think I’ve done in like 5 years.

The ENT is recommending either an amplifier or hearing aids but he wants to find the cause by ruling out some pretty serious genetic conditions. In case you weren’t aware, the inner ears and the kidneys form in utero at the same time. Often if one has kidney disease, one has a hearing problem and vice versa. So T1 needs a urinalysis. There are some chronic heart conditions, not “momentary” like my SVT, that also could indicate a hearing issue. So T1 needs an EKG. Need to find a pediatric cardiologist. The inner cochlear bones could be malformed. So T1 needs a CT scan. The ENT could order the CT scan but I needed to get her pediatrician to either do the other tests or order them.

And after talking to a friend who just got hearing aids, those will be a series of appointments as well… one to get a trial pair, one to see how the trial went, one to fit the ones we’ll buy, one to retest in the booth how they are working, etc.

And the Chief is at sea and due to circumstances out of his control may not get home until the end of August.

Pediatrician visit and urinalysis complete today. Her pediatrician, who had only started her private practice within the year T1 was born and had seen her less than a day old, was in as much shock as I was. We talked family medical history and about all the testing the ENT wanted. Opted to get T1 into Children’s Hospital for the cardiologist rather than just a routine clinic EKG. (“If there is a problem she’ll need a cardiologist anyway…”) Of course I couldn’t get into the closest branch until late September but by choosing a different branch she could be seen sooner and at least I don’t have to go all the way to the big city like when T2 had her first mystery illness. Cardiologist scheduled for the 7th and the CT scan will be local on the 10th. Follow-up with the ENT on the 28th.

Last night we told her private teacher for viola lessons about the hearing deficit. After his initial shock he said, “Now things make sense. She doesn’t self-correct like she should.” She has college scholarship auditions to prepare for–now we know we have additional work to accomplish.

Got a call today to see if we wanted to start the hearing aid process. I am not ready for that. Gadgets are not my thing. I know the Chief will research every model out there and have all the pros and cons and customer reviews on hand. He’ll look at cost and efficiency. He wants to know if this will be progressive. I’m going to wait until the 28th, crossing my fingers that he will be home, to start the process. I am not up to doing this alone.

On the drive home today T1 was silent so at the red light I signed, Are you okay? Of course she scowled at me. I had been jokingly signing I love you since the day before. I stopped giggling and said, “I have to joke about it because I think if I didn’t, I’d cry.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

The light turned green and I caught her out of the corner of my eye signing Are you okay?

“Maybe I have to find your old sign language books and watch YouTube to teach myself sign language. I might need it in the future.”

Like I said, she’s handling it better than I am.

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Well, That’s That

October 15, 2015

Well the Chief has shipped out. It was a strange occurrence. I told someone that day that I had never been the one to leave first. In other words, the Chief almost always got the first flight of the day and therefore left at o-dark-thirty, leaving me in bed. But he had a mid-day flight and I had to go to work (my last day of a 21-day assignment). Surely when I was working full-time prior to children this had occurred before but I honestly don’t have a memory of it.

Because the school I was subbing at was only a mile down the road, the Chief texted me about swinging by to do his documents check. When I used to drop him off at the airport, this was always the last thing we did at the trunk of the car–to open up his back pack and his documents folder to verify his TWIC, passport, license, and credentials were all packed and all valid and current. Even when he was leaving at o-dark-thirty I would wake up to check his documents before sending him out the door. I was on a 45 minute break so I went out into the gorgeous sunshine to check his documents one last time.

Callie’s Mariner posted a beautiful piece expressing what many of us are going through this time around called “be safe”. She talks about the routines, the talismans if you will, of the things she always says to her mariner while he is at sea. I guess the document check is sort of our talisman. As I was walking away and he was getting into his rental car, I called back, “Be safe, fly safe. And no hurricanes!” I hadn’t read Callie’s article till later that night.

The Chief texted me from the airport that he almost had a heart attack moment–when he went to pull out his TWIC for his ID he couldn’t find it! He had put it back in his wallet in a different spot! Maybe the change in our routine caused the deviation. We will have to be more careful next time!

Neither T1 nor T2 seems to have any extra anxiety about the Chief going back to sea. We haven’t shielded them from the El Faro incident but I did have to ask at one point, “You do know a ship sank in the hurricane, right?” On the wives FB page “what and when should I tell my children” was a topic of discussion. I have very mixed feelings about it. 1. With the exception of like only two who’s husbands lost classmates, no one on the board had a significant connection to the crew of the El Faro. 2. Many of these spouses were talking about telling toddlers and primary school-aged children of the horrors of being lost at sea. No. Just no.

Too many of the spouses were (are?) so deeply personalizing this tragedy. The fear mongering, the blame casting, the misinformation, the continuous grief expressions are just all really unhealthy and to pass that along to children who for the most part cannot grasp why their parent goes away for stretches at a time is just so unhealthy. And sadly quite a few on the board do not wish to hear any other viewpoints or logic. To me it has ceased to be a supportive outlet and has become quite toxic. Very unfortunate. Through a link on Callie’s Mariner I am going to be checking out a British MM spouse group to see if they are not more supportive and less “dramatic.” I’ll report back on my findings later.

I am pleased to report that T1 seems to have found support from a few of her friends. I don’t know the details of the conversation, if the El Faro came up or not, but when they found out she had gone to school rather than stay home a few final hours with the Chief, they told her she should have stayed home–it was more important than a few hours at school. Okay, most things to a teen are more important than school but the sentiment was appreciated at least by me. I think if they had been a bit younger I would have thought to have them stay home with him for a few hours–of course he had errands to run so it might not have been as beneficial as one would hope.

I’ve had two days off–I had hoped that he would have been here but what can you do? I have a one-day assignment tomorrow. It has been a busy week adjusting to his absence but I know December will be here before we know it. Life move on. But hearing his voice tonight just seems a little more precious and I’ll hold on to that.

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Reblog: Transition Points

September 30, 2014

http://www.maritime-executive.com/article/shipping-out-transition-points-for-the-children-of-mariners

The above article in Maritime Executive is a good resource for those of us “living the life” with children. I’ve blogged about my own hits and misses and guarantee you that what works (does it really?) for our family will most definitely not translate for another. You have to find what works best for you and your family, in your circumstances. I am currently participating in a FB forum of MM spouses. Many of the joys and complaints shared are universal but it becomes painfully obvious who the long-timers are and who are the ones struggling through those first years–with and without children. It has definitely made me more appreciative of my saint of a Chief, that’s for sure.

I would make a snarky comment that you can also tell 95% of the time who is married to a deckie or to an engineer too but that wouldn’t be nice.

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Delay … Am I Bad to Want One?

September 14, 2014

After 18+ years I am used to this, really I am. The Chief is supposed to make the change out on the 23rd. However, they will be in transit to a warm, out of country port. He’s actually supposed to be in a nearby port on his birthday (the 19th, and he’ll be turning 45), just before this out of country port. Oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to join him on his birthday and sail with him for 5 days … but that just won’t work with my schedule and I guess the company doesn’t want a change out occurring out of country.

This would be the first time the Chief will be at a nearby port in about 16 years. Nearby meaning several hours away but that’s better than on opposite coasts. I would really like to drive up there and pick him up. As I said, my schedule is nuts and arranging a sitter for the daughters and the greyhounds… not even sure if it will be a drive and turn around or if I’d get to stay the night on board. And then the Chief mentions something about not having too many more opportunities to bring his dad to see his ship–both because his dad is 70+ and because the Chief is getting serious about retiring in a few years. So I also think it would be a great bonding thing for my dad to accompany us and see where his son-in-law works. Yes, after 18+ years I think my dad and husband need a little bonding experience.

Again, is it just a drive by “Hop on in!” and drive right on back home; would we get a chance to get into the port (not company owned anchorage) and actually see the ship; or would we get to spend the night on board–I know I have a bunk but what about the dads?

I really can’t get a sitter to take the girls to their soccer games and T1’s first high school fall social on Friday or Saturday … but if he is delayed by a day or two I could get a sitter for Sunday into Monday.

I’ve never had a chance to pick him up in port. It has been so long since I’ve sailed with him or even visited his ship(s) … like 15-16 years ago. And I do honestly want to bring the fathers.

So the babysitter and I are crossing fingers and hoping the delay happens. I have checked the oh-so-unsecure website and I know they have left port with an ETA of the 20th but as their satellite is on the fritz, it looks like they are “out of range” (when really they aren’t) for the time being. The Chief promises to update me as soon as he thinks they’ll have satellite communication.

P.S. I have given ample notice to all potential babysitters that if this run occurs during the winter, I am so sailing with the Chief out of country. The girls are less busy and I will make it happen.

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