Posts Tagged ‘humor’

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PMS … it’s not what you think!

February 25, 2014
This game actually came out after Kill Doctor Lucky, but takes place before. Both games are fun to play!

This game actually came out after Kill Doctor Lucky, but takes place before. Both games are fun to play!

The other night, before the Chief shipped out, we were having a Family Game Night. If you haven’t played either Kill Doctor Lucky or Save Doctor Lucky, you don’t know what you are missing.

The girls were being a bit obnoxious. Loud. Goofy. Interrupting the game in a major way.

The Chief was not having any of it. In fact if it had continued he would have called the game. After one grumpy bark, T1 exchanged a look with me.

Smiling, I started signing to her under the table. Apparently not as far under the table as I thought. While she struggled with the letters, the Chief blurts out, “PMS.”

My only response was, “Well, if the shoe fits.”

Yesterday, a day after the Chief left, T1 asked, “Mom, when you were signing PMS, did you mean me or Dad?”

“Dad.”

T2 then chimes in, “Yeah, he was grumpy. We were just having fun.”

“You know he gets into his mode before he leaves. You guys were being a bit rowdy.”

T1: So it’s kind of like ‘Pre-Maritime Stressing.’

Me: Exactly!

I told the Chief about this revelation and his defense is “I was just trying to enjoy the game and they weren’t letting me with all their acting up.”

No comment. “Just thought I’d warn you before I posted it for the world to see.”

P.S. In a funny twist it turns out T1 was PMSing. HAHA! Now I know what’s wrong with me!

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How to Tell the Difference between an Emergency and a Non-Emergency

May 7, 2013

The Chief just had to explain to his new Captain that if I’m calling the ship’s phone for the first time in years, even if I say it’s not an emergency, IT’S AT LEAST PRETTY DARN IMPORTANT.

The Chief is not in trouble.

I just had another heart episode.

I could make a joke that it happened while doing laundry–“See? House work really will kill me.”

But he will point out that the one I had 5 weeks ago was at the gym.

Ok. “See? Getting healthy will kill you too.”

Yes … I will call the doctor now.

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Check Out These Guns…

March 28, 2013

OK Enchanted Seashells, here they are.

I love my new Wonder Woman t-shirt but it hides the "Guns"!

I love my new Wonder Woman t-shirt but it hides the “Guns”!

Getting muscle definition of biceps, triceps, and forearms. Hard work paying off.

Getting muscle definition of biceps, triceps, and forearms. Hard work paying off.

Lighting is not great but this is "The Cut" I was thrilled to see forming. (on the backside of the arm defining the triceps)

Lighting is not great but this is “The Cut” I was thrilled to see forming. (on the backside of the arm defining the triceps)

It should be noted that when I was at a pretty low point, not being able to look myself in the eyes let alone see my whole self in the mirror, I would look at my arms. I noticed “the cut” and was pretty impressed when it started forming. (“The Cut” is the definition of the arm muscles that shows when flexing or when in a semi-relaxed position.) But I also started seeing imperfections under certain lights. It seemed odd because I used to wear tanks all the time so why was it bothering me now? If I was ever at risk of developing body-dysmorphia, it was at this time. Ugly fluorescent lights seems to make the dimpling imperfections stand out. Of all the things to fixate on and I chose my arms. I stopped wearing tanks and had a hard time convincing myself to buy a sleeveless dress. If you’ve stopped by before you’ll note that my little black dress is sleeveless but I wear it under a jacket. I know in my head it is the lighting but it is hard to get past.

I let the Chief take these. This is my newest Wonder Woman t-shirt. I bought it for a special occasion (but I’ll share more about that when I can!).

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E.o.t.T. will never be the same!

March 23, 2013

Things are going good at the trainer. Unless you count that the trainer is now starting to give punishment runs to the 9ish Crew for showing up late.

The 9ish Crew is the group of us that he tells to come in staggered between 9 and 9:30. So many of us have been coming in at 9:30 that the staggering isn’t working like it should. I’m actually enjoying having the workout partners. Two are actually partners and do relatively the same workouts. One is the powerlifting grandma who really inspires me. Occasionally a lone guy and his county sheriff wife join us on their days off.

But yes, if you push “9ish” back by a whole half an hour, you will get punishment runs or prowler circuits. Trust me. I know. And it didn’t matter that it was my birthday. Yup, I got a SIXTH prowler circuit on my birthday. I’m lucky I didn’t hurl.

Update on my actual workouts: because we’re trying to bench press 3xs a week, my prowler circuit is a bit modified now. I currently do the following:
6 overhead presses with a 45 lb. bar, 30 seconds step-up (just graduated to an 8 inch step, 15 hip hop ups, 8 medicine ball smash downs 20 lbs., push the prowler with 20 lbs, low bars up, high bars back the distance of the room (25 feet?). We took out hand-walks because of the bench press.

My bench press was pretty good yesterday. One thing is I did not know the goal weight so I wasn’t so focused on that. I looked afterwards and it was 125 lbs. My PBR is 130 but I assume we’ll be going for 135 soon and that will be roughly 80% of my body weight.

So why will E.o.t.T. never be the same? Not because of the punishment runs (although yesterday the last person to stroll in got them!). No. It is all because of The Big Bang Theory. The Chief and I caught an old episode the other night … here. Watch. You’ll see what I’m talking about!

The Big Bang Theory Season 3 episode 4.

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