Sunrise & Chill

As much as I am loath to getting up early on mornings, I have been enjoying sitting on the porch and watching T1 walk to the bus stop (right below that burst of light) and sitting with T2 for a few minutes before she walks around the corner to meet a friend to walk to their bus stop out of sight.

It seems like just this past week, the sun is rising later and there is a chill in the air first thing in the morning. I personally am enjoying not getting woke up by the crack of dawn (but it is harder to roll out of bed while it is still gray out) and the chill weather means improved E.o.t.T. running. I just can’t run well in temps over 75 degrees. I’m miserable. I’ve had some good runs in the past week and it is a good thing because my 5k race is in 4 weeks and I hadn’t run over 2 miles straight until last Friday.

So T2 did not sit with me this morning. She is mad at me. She walked away early, barely mumbling “I love you” in response. Well, imagine how much madder she’d be if I had made her get out of bed at midnight last night and clean her room like I had asked her to after school instead of just waking her up and laying down the law for the upcoming week if she ever wants to do anything fun ever again. (Extra points for emphasis.)

T1 had to inform me of all the dramatics this morning. “She said you told her she couldn’t even read today at school. She’s being just like I was, isn’t she?”

“First of all, I said no TV and no computer and no made-up language [she spent all day creating] but I said nothing about reading at home or at school. But she has to clean her room [first]. Second, yes, just like you and your hormonal drama and black-and-white fatalism. Good bye, have a nice day!”

Thankfully, T1 is showing me there is a light at the end of the tunnel even though she’s not out of it yet. I just wish T2 could have taken a detour around the tunnel and skipped this phase altogether.

The Chief says there are spelling and grammar errors… but I’m not seeing them. So if you find any other than the one I did fix, let me know.

Father-Daughter Dances of the Past

This is our 8th Father-Daughter dance (since T1 was in 1s grade). I believe the Chief has only been home for 4 of them. As I posted pictures of my daughters and my BILs from this past weekend I realized just how special are my BILs and how blessed are my daughters.

2007 my father took T1. At the time my parents were “threatening” to move to the beach so I thought I should ask my father to be her escort just in case. They haven’t moved and in fact have sold their condo.

2008 my FIL took T2 and the Chief escorted T1. The Chief was actually at the office doing his EODP and one of the stipulations for the abrupt schedule change was that they would fly him home for the weekend so he could take his daughter to the dance. Red-eye home Saturday morning with a return flight Sunday afternoon.

2009 the Chief’s brother took T1 and the Chief escorted T2. This is the one and only year I made their dresses … don’t get excited. They were those ruffled dresses that only needed one seam and are worn like a tube top … I added straps and pretty bows. This was the last year for corsages.

2010 my FIL took T1 and my father escorted T2. This was a Sock-Hop so I thought the grandfathers would dress casually. Nope. They both wore suits while the young dads came dressed as the Fonz. I got to witness the dance because the organizer had a small troop and was desperate for help so my MIL and I served drinks all night. We found coordinating bracelet “corsages” at the new Charming Charlies.

2011 my sister’s new husband escorted T2 and the Chief was home to take T1. This was the year of the dress drama. We found a prom dress in size 2 at the Good Will … it fit T2 and not T1. Needless to say this was the beginning of having listen to T1 pitch a fit if I didn’t agree with her expensive tastes in dresses. It was cold and rainy outside so we had to take pictures inside this year.
*The Chief’s brother was on stand-by just in case the Chief couldn’t make it home. I had asked my own brother to take one of the girls and he waited until about a week before the dance to tell me “no” which is why my sister’s husband stepped in.

2012 my father escorted T1 again while my FIL took T2 again. T1 wanted a “little black dress.” This gave the grandfathers heart failure to see their 12-year-old granddaughter looking so mature.

2013 it was T2’s turn to have Chief be her escort and my father escorted T1 again.

So my oldest scout in the troop decided she wanted to host the Father-Daughter Dance this year. She asked my co-leader to help and it has been quite an experience… I’ll post tomorrow about the recap.

2014 The Chief’s brother took T1 again and my sister’s husband took T2 … guess I didn’t realize we should have switched that up. Oops. Well now I have a list to easily look back on for future dances. All the grandparents came for an early dinner at our traditional place and BIL’s girlfriend came and actually went to the dance with ME and helped run the event. It’s hard to believe there will only be 4 more of these for T1.

The bottom line is how truly blessed the girls are to have such loving male figures in their lives when the Chief can’t be home. They’ve never “shared” an escort either. T1 has her first school formal coming up and I know things are going to change but these Father-Daughter Dances will always be special family experiences. I know I’m blessed to have wonderful brothers-in-law and if my Texas rebel BIL were only closer I know he would have stepped in too.

Thing 1 is Testing Her Limits

or as I was going to title this “I Know Why Some Animals Eat Their Young.”

I remember such a dramatic shift in how I perceived my mother between the ages of 12 and 14. It was such a complete change that it has colored my relationship with her to this day and forms the basis of my relationship with my own daughters. Watching T1 grow into a teenager scares me in more ways than one.

Ask the Chief–I was so worried about being hands-off, too tough, not emotionally attached to the girls. Then each of them fights to be able to sit next to me and cuddle. I really don’t have any childhood memories like that. But I do want my children to always see me as strong … because I’m not. Not always.

So we’ve been playing our Nancy Drew computer games. It’s family time and it is focused time, playing hours on end. T1 started playing on her own–first replaying one or two that we had already solved and then finishing up two games we had started but for what ever reason we just never finished. Good for her! She’s getting the logic puzzles down and can move forward without too much frustration.

Yesterday as she’s working on one of the unfinished games she comes to give me status reports. And to rub it in my face.

“I found the right monkey and got the pulley you need.”

“Good!”

“You never did.”

“Hmmm.”

A little later….

“I found the sunken ship.”

“Awesome.”

“That’s farther than you ever got.”

“Right….”

Still later….

“I got stuck in a cave and you have to call George to open it from the outside. Did you know you can switch between the two?”

“Yes.”

“Did you?”

“Not yet.”

“Didn’t you find the walkie-talkies?”

“Yes. I just hadn’t done that yet.”

“Ha! I got farther than you and know how to do that.”

“Back this truck up, missy. You are bordering on bragging and certainly have moved into disrespecting me.”

I laid the hammer down and sent her on her way. I later pulled her aside.

“I know you’re smart. I know I’m smarter in many ways than my mother but you won’t see me disrespecting her. Yes, we tease her and we make fun of her … but I don’t do what you are doing. I know you’re smart. I want to congratulate you on doing a good job in the game but once you start throwing in ‘I’m smarter than you because I got farther than you’ I don’t want to tell you ‘Good job.’ It’s rude and disrespectful. I know how smart you are and I want you to keep learning and trying. And you’re going to be smarter than me one day. But you better be respectful about it. Today you are not.”

I guess this is the equivalent of boys and their fathers beating on their chests and challenging for supremacy, just a lot less physical. I will admit I was tempted to wipe that obnoxious grin off her face though.

May 31st

Where has the time gone?

The Chief is home. We’re trying to make the most of the time but we’re already thinking about his shipping out date and a conference scheduled during what should be his weekends, holidays, and vacation time. Next month we are arranging to have T2 at a friend’s while T1 is at a middle school conference. What will we do with the time? Hopefully not some home improvement project but a day trip or two.

T1 is finishing her first year of middle school. She had a rough quarter and has learned some tough lessons. Group projects: everyone is responsible for the grade of the group and if you have one slacker you have to do their work too–but make sure the teacher knows! Turning in work on time saves a lot of heartache. Natural talent will not carry you through if you choose not to practice. Standardized tests are frustrating to everyone.

But she’s growing into a beautiful young woman with all the milestones and tribulations of turning 12. She has navigated 6th grade with a mix of immaturity, maturity, and grace. She’s tried new things–orchestra and acting. She’s survived 8th grade math. She chose to switch back to her very first soccer team now that it is a mixed-age league and she had her first-ever winning season, learning to improve now that she was no longer one of the stronger links. And she’s even read a book behind my back that I asked her to wait to read. (I really can’t fault her on this because I did the same in 6th grade and so did my mother.)

And I wasn’t there, hovering in the background. A mixed blessing of the PsA?

T2 … will start 5th grade in August. Our last year in elementary school. T1 always seems to be about the “firsts” but T2 is all about the “lasts.” I’m glad we did not hold her back so that she can have her moments without competing with T1’s moments finishing middle school. T2’s 5th grade year will be “lasts” for me and the relationships I made with the teachers I entrusted my girls to, for my volunteer obligations. Oh sure I’ll be there substituting but somehow I don’t think it will be the same. I am looking forward to sharing these moments with T2 and will do all I can to make them special for her.

We have a busy summer ahead of us. June is full of scouts and both T1 and the Chief have conferences to attend. The Chief will depart in early July and we have church camp. August will be here before we know it and school starts early!

I want to enjoy every day. I want to make the most of every day. That is going to have to start with relying more on God every day, changing my relationship with Him. I’m working on it, trying to listen for him in the still quiet voice. I’m trying not to resist him as I do daily.

If you want a blog post to uplift you today as it did me, check out Reasons to Hope.