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My Breath Catches

October 4, 2015

The tweets and posts do not look good. I cannot bring myself to watch the live press conference (if it even aired on my local stations… But that is a rant for another post). It hits too close to home. A large debris field has been identified but they still have not located the American cargo vessel El Faro.

The Chief calls out details… One of the mates is a woman… The 3rd engineer is probably on his first or second trip since graduating this spring. Someone left toddlers at home…

“I know those thoughts. To leave the girls. To be in bad weather.”

My breath catches. I want to put fingers in my ears.

“I don’t have good feelings about this.”

It is so hard to hear him express what I know is very hard for him to do.

This is one of the top three scenarios I worry about. With the Chief sailing most of his career on the west coast I have often said that I am grateful we do not get reports of every hurricane or typhoon over there. But I do remember the reports of the super typhoon that covered over a third of the Pacific (he was on the east coast) and the satellite images of the storm featured on Deadliest Catch (not to mention footage of Jake’s near miss and even Sig’s cry Uncle in the dangerous weather) chilled me.

During the course of writing this the Chief sent me a link to NOAA.gov’s marine weather log for December 2007. He sailed through that…

I ask the Chief about EPIRB… And I almost wish I hadn’t. The reasons for why it only signaled once are numerous and the implications are horrifying. His knowledge is not as comforting as I would hope.

“I’ve lost propulsion twice.”

I actually remember the phone calls after those events. But I think we spouses do not realize the gravity of statements like that. Perhaps that is merciful.

Until a tragedy like this. My thoughts and prayers are with the 28 American families and five Polish families.

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One comment

  1. This is really quite horrible. On top of that, I haven’t heard from hub since yesterday, don’t know if sat email is down or what, but not a great time to NOT hear from him…



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