What does 40 look like?

February 18, 2014

In less than a month I will be turning 40. I already tell people I am 40 so in some ways it is just a number.

When the Chief turned 40 I used to tell people he was finally catching up to his age. He’s an old soul. When I married him he was 25 going on 40 and many people often got his age grossly wrong. Not that he looked “old”. Just that he looked and acted like a mature and responsible person.

But do I look 40?

I started asking this question one night when I was bored and I was looking at the IMdb on my phone and randomly looked up the cast of Hawaii 5-0. I think I was a little stunned to see that actress Grace Park is 1 DAY YOUNGER THAN ME! Seriously? She’s 40?!

Grace Park courtesy of Flickr/Wikipedia.org

Grace Park courtesy of Flickr/Wikipedia.org

Okay, I’m not Asian. I don’t have those genes.

But do I look 40? I feel 40 when the aches and pains hit. I feel 40 when I take my weekly MTX dose. I feel 40 when a little bit more hair falls out because of the MTX. I feel 40 when I take my weekly Enbrel shot. I feel 40 when I need to take a nap because the fatigue builds up.

But I don’t feel 40 when I bench press. I don’t feel 40 when I run (but I still loathe running). I don’t feel 40 when I’m around my friends (okay, to be fair, I am the youngest. LOL). I don’t feel 40 at church or summer camp (30ish maybe, but not 40). The Chief makes me feel … 😉 (well this is a PG blog).

I know it’s impossible for you, dear reader, to answer this question as I have not posted any identity revealing photos of myself. But maybe you can answer “What does 40 look like?” Clearly, in my opinion, it is not Grace Park.

Or is it?

Do other 40 years old look like her–much younger than our years? Is it possible I don’t look my age?

I think about all my “over 40 friends”. Did I ever consider they “looked 40?” You know, except for the stray gray hairs I’d never accurately guess their ages. Besides, I’ve had gray hair since I was 26. And too many of us color over our gray.

And you can’t go by the ages of a woman’s children. Seriously, I never would have guessed the age of my children’s kindergarten teacher … even 9 years ago she had children that were in their early 20s… and she had them young, so she was within 10 years of my age. Two of my best friends are the Chief’s age … one has children between my children’s ages and a toddler; the other is a grandmother twice over. Well, my own older sister had her first child at 39! (I am sooo thankful I am not her!)

10 years ago I went on a cruise with two girlfriends. One was turning 30 a month after me and the other was turning 25. No one seemed surprised I was 30. The other 30-year-old and mother of 4 kept getting, “30? You? No way!” Seriously? Or as the Chief said, “maybe it’s how you carry yourself.” That’s easy for him to say–he gets credibility and respect for looking and acting older. I’m not so sure it’s the same for women.

I guess I won’t mind turning 40 if someone could just reassure me I don’t “look” 40.



  1. “if someone could just reassure me I don’t “look” 40.”

    I have tried… but you won’t believe me!

  2. Ha, if you are so unsure maybe ask around since we can’t assess the “situation” lol but probably you don’t because it seems like you take good care of yourself, and like you pointed out: grey hair is No longer a benchmark. I am 40 and sure don’t feel like it, or at least not how I visualized 40 in the past. Times have changed and my grandma had six kids by the time she was 40 and even grandchildren and to be honest her pictures look like if they were taken today she would have been 60! Listen to the chief when he says you don’t! 😀

    • Aww! Thank you. Check back in a few–I may actually do a reveal and break my anonymity soon. 🙂

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