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Waiting to Exhale

July 31, 2012

My FB status: When the Chief calls sometimes it is like I finally get to exhale and feel relief. I never realized I was holding my breath.

We don’t get to talk as much as we had in recent years for a couple of reasons. First, and I still cannot figure out the difference between analog and digital but cell phones no longer operate in one of those formats and the signal is spotty–even with land on three sides!–at best some times. Second, the design of the new ships means the engineers are in the “hole” and living like Snipes more than on the GTs. Plus, the Chief’s rank means he has to be on duty for arrival and departure and on one particular river transit that can mean up to 12 hours in the “hole.” It is very reminiscent of our early days of waiting for port calls and trips to pay phones.

So that means I get a rare phone call when he comes up for air. It can be days. Some times it can feel like days when it has only been hours if I can’t remember the last time he called or if the call was so short or just a text message.

I guess I had such a laundry list of things to talk to him about… VBS, my upcoming doctor appointments, my recent flare up with the PsA, concern about T2’s health, social issues and political dilemmas (have I mentioned how much I hate election years?), and needing new tires for the Taurus. I’m sure I’ve forgotten things to talk about–and as I’m typing this I am remembering and forgetting again at least two things….

There are times when I can’t go over my laundry list because things aren’t going well at sea for the Chief. I have to put these things aside and I guess that causes the list to build. It’s okay–I need to help him deal with some very stressful situations and I know we’re going to have some really major decisions to make in the future–how far in the future I am not sure but I know it is coming.

So last night I did most of the talking but he was a great listener. That feeling of being able to exhale is the only way I can describe it. I guess it had been the better part of a week since we last talked and I did all the talking then too about my camp experience and the blessings God has shown me.

I can’t believe July is over. We’re going to the county fair tonight. School starts in 21 days…

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