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Be careful what you ask for…

June 14, 2012

I’ve posted that recently I realized I was only wearing band-aids that covered up some old, some new, festering wounds. I thought band-aids were good; in some ways they were as they helped me put one foot in front of the other. But I am realizing I need to cauterise this wound to put it behind me. What that entails, I don’t know. I’m just beginning to look at what “closure” would mean, what the costs would be, and could I live with the consequences.

I recently had a very cryptic request to spend more time with those I usually don’t. I said to the Chief, “Um, what is that all about? Now? Puh-leaze.”

The Chief just looked at me. “What if this is the answer to the prayers for healing you’ve asked for? What if this is the helicopter circling overhead?”

He’s right. I came to the conclusion that perhaps I didn’t ask for the right thing, being just fine with band-aids. Now that I have asked more boldly for healing I’m doing a good job of resisting.

There are so many unsaid words. I’m not sure what I’d say–I’ve just begun looking at this. But today, I’m anxious as I learned the one person I probably need the most closure with is not in good health. Would I have the strength to accept those unspoken words if that is the only closure I am afforded? Would I be able to accept the consequences of putting my faith in the band-aids rather than in God?

I know the band-aids came from God but He wants so much more for and from me. He’s always wanted me to take the total healing He offers … I’ve just gotten really good at resisting what was right in front of me.

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4 comments

  1. […] heal the wounds festering under the band-aids. I had to realize I needed total healing. I needed closure and while I did not know exactly what that meant I almost lost that chance. God has been sending […]


  2. This post really hit home with me! You said “….being just fine with band-aids.” I used to be fine with bandaids, too, but life is so much more than that!
    PS Thank you to your husband for his service and to you for supporting him behind the scenes!


    • Thank you! I was talking with the Chief about my mother’s health right now and I said, “Can you imagine what things would be like if I was still just wearing band-aids? As upset as I am, as worried for her and for me, what would I be like?” God hit me with a 2×4 and said “I’m not playing around and neither should you!” I was wearing those band-aids for a long time but the healing is coming.


      • Those swats with 2x4s sure do smart!
        I’m so happy for you that your healing is coming and you can enjoy the rewards of that. Hang in there!



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