This Is A Test

April 16, 2011

DH had only been gone 11 days before I started coming down with something. I felt achy but I thought it was from my recent Torture session or from sitting on the floor too long. The following morning I was still achy but I did not take anything because I know it’s important to be aware of any new pains when working out so you do not over do it. I was hurting all over but I soldiered through my work out with the Torturer (though I admit I almost started crying at the thought of running for 10 minutes).

I got home and took my temperature. 99.9. Maybe the run, which had been outside, overheated me. I was having a little problem with blood sugar–maybe everything was out of whack. Half an hour later and time in a nice cool bed, I was still 99.9. For me, I start to feel achy when my temperature gets to 98.8. I love going to clinics and having them tell me “The good thing is you are not running a fever.” Oh yes I am!

No other symptoms. Just fever. With the weather system coming in I did get a sinus pressure headache later in the day.

With the way my winter went I was hoping to get through spring (and DH being gone) without major illnesses. I just don’t have time for them.

I don’t treat lo-grade fevers with anything because I know it is the body’s way of fighting infection. I do take something at night just so that I can sleep. My fever broke about 3:30 in the morning.

Whatever it was it was a fluke I hope.

Earlier in the week I was asked “What is the hardest part of DH being gone?”

“I have no buffer.” No tag-team partner when the girls are misbehaving. No built-in sitter when I need to get something done after school hours. No sounding board when I need to make a decision (though cell phones make this easier). No one to take care of the children when I have a mystery fever.

This may not be the hardest thing for other wives. For me it is because 1. I have no patience, 2. as an introvert being “on” all the time for interactions is draining, 3. I need someone to tell me to tell others “No”, and 4. because of certain things that shape who I am I need that safety zone, that wall that DH is in order to feel, well, safe and in control.

Prayers were answered and the fever went away. DH is in port and I should be able to talk to him a couple of times during the next 24-36 hours. T1 was an angel and was trying to take care of me for dinner last night–but I just could not let her. I had a cyclically sick parent and it saddens me that I seem to be that parent in our family. I still want her to be a child and not worry about me.

I am feeling stronger than I have in a while though I still have my days. Almost two weeks down, spring break is here, and just 8 more weeks of school. It may be a test but I think I’m passing.


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