Just a Parent

April 9, 2011
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Image via Wikimedia Commons, MaxDZ8, based on work from Mario Ortegon

On this cold Saturday morning I am realizing I am surviving the first soccer season without DH in probably 3 years. I am also getting to enjoy it as just a parent. Being on the other side is, well, a relief.

To be honest I don’t know what I would have done if the current coach (another parent) hadn’t stepped up. I just knew I couldn’t do it any more. Would I have kept T1 with these players or would I have struck out and taken my chances? That is so hard for me because I do NOT like change if it means meeting new people or trying to find people I trust with my children. The Mom Guilt may have made me be coach again but I had taken these players as far a I knew how–and that was very little. Who wants to be on a losing team–again?

Sitting on the other side with the other parents is interesting. I have my own very strong opinions about all the players. I know their strengths and their weaknesses. I am always floored when a player just stops running. It is soccer! You don’t stop running!

And because of political correctness I never knew how far I could say something to the other players. Unfortunately, T1 knew I would always be brutally honest with her and she knew I couldn’t say what I really wanted to say to the other players. It is a good group of parents, though, and the dads mostly are just as stunned by the “lack of effort” I see.

It is kind of funny–or sad?–to hear all the parents on one end of the field all screaming “RUN!”

Defense was my thing. I couldn’t teach how to score to save my life but I could tell these players how to dig in, be a wall, and defend. Didn’t always work when they’d leave the goalie wide open but that’s another story (especially if they don’t run back). Being a wall doesn’t get you a score though and no matter how many shots you block if you don’t make any scores of your own you won’t win.

I have my opinions about today’s game. The goalie was left alone and one-on-one is a tough situation to be in. T1 ran the most she has ever, even coming back from a fall (tripped by her own teammate) but she is just one player. The new coach however is a military type and he made it clear that it was his way or no way at the end of last season. So I am biting my tongue.

It is like everything in my life right now. I can survive anything as long as it is a temporary thing. Subbing is not teaching (even the multiple day assignment I’m on right now) because I can choose not to take a job whenever I want. Going to a party where I’ll barely know anyone to support the host and guest of honor fills me with dread but I know it’s only a couple of hours. Run the school store–sure, why not, at least I’m not on the PTA board. Even with scouts I am counting down until the end of the year and I’m thrilled our “summer trip” will be before summer.

I’m not usually like this or this extreme in my aversion to being in charge or on the spot. It is a little more than just burn-out. It has to do with what I’m going through right now. With DH at sea it is more of a challenge but I am seeing things leveling out. Not being the coach was the smartest thing I could do. I am also discovering there are some OTC medications and supplements I may need to find alternatives for or avoid altogether.

And I know I’ve survived one week and three soccer games so far. 13 games more and play-offs to go. Eight more weeks till summer and DH comes home.

DH is surviving too. It sounds as if things may have leveled out for him too. I hope he’s not trying to keep things from me but by the sound of his voice I think I have a pretty good read on him. I hope his stress load is easier for him to handle this run. The company shake up and new assignments have all been given out so hopefully, hopefully, we’ll get some stability in his schedule and his relief partners.

It’s good to be just a parent!


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