Opposites Attract, Part 3

February 15, 2011

We traveled a lot in our dating and early marriage but not so much in recent years. We’ve still, as I’ve said, had some good trips. The Grand Canyon for our 10th anniversary was amazing. Disney with the children was “magical.”

DH has to travel for training and conferences. He does not like to do this. Can you blame him–he’s gone half the year as it is. When T1 was just 6 months old, there was talk of an overseas company assignment for 6 months. Sign me up! I was no longer working; we could rent the house for that time. It would be an adventure.

It never happened.

Neither did trips to Rome, Edinburgh, Glasgow, London, San Francisco, Houston, Norway and Denmark, the Panama Canal, or even just to the shipyard on the West Coast. Some have been canceled; some were just at inconvenient times (like having my gallbladder out). Instead of the overseas assignment he was sent to headquarters when T1 was in second grade and T2 was in kindergarten. The assignment could be anywhere from a month to 6 months; if it looked like it would be longer than 3 months the family could join the employee at the company’s expense.

When DH initially told me of this opportunity we were both exited. Then our different childhood experiences put us at odds. DH went from “Yes, join me for 3 months” to “You can come out for the time after school gets out” to “You can drive cross-country with me on a vacation and then fly home” to eventually “I’ll fly home every other weekend.” Needless to say, I got hot about it. I saw it as an amazing opportunity that I never had growing up. I was all for homeschooling the children for those few months and keeping in touch with their teachers. DH saw it as disruption and hardship on the children. In my opinion they were young enough that it wouldn’t have been the same kind of hardship as leaving your senior year; plus it was only temporary.

DH’s eventual assignment ended up being only 6 weeks and we did not get to go with him. He did fly home to attend an important function with T1 and T2–something that had been on the calendar for months. Opportunity lost, I guess.

I do travel on my own with the children. They have done more in their short lives than I had the opportunity to do as a child. T1 is getting ready to go to middle school and as I see all the friends that have been around since kindergarten I know that is something DH never had and I know why he values that for them.

The first week of March DH is supposed to be going to Scotland. And I am supposed to finally get to go with him. He of course does not want to go, especially because he is going this upcoming week to Houston. I don’t blame him for not wanting to travel when he’s home… but I want to! Scotland would be an amazing 15th anniversary trip. But I won’t believe it’s happening until I have a plane ticket in my hand.

I don’t mind providing him a stable and comfortable home to come home to, as long as I get a few trips in every now and then!


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